just ekstaci: to be here

i beg myself get me out of this house out of my skin take me somewhere far away from the walls i’m trapped in i can offer nothing in return you don’t have to stay with me just leave me somewhere stranded so i can be myself again. these clothes i wear for them have worn far too thin and my horns i fear are showing again.  do i want anything i thought that i might? i’m mourning my waistline and cant feel anything inside me but fright, and this atmosphere of prudence and judgment is rubbing away my insight and i see nothing on the horizon with which to free me from my plight and i am dooming my child to this plain existence and all the hell that comes with this as I become what i hate night by night.