just ekstaci: to be here

When I was released from the hospital I had prescriptions in my pocket for lithium carbonate (bipolar disorder), Lamictal (mood disorder, alcoholism, depression), Klonopin (anxiety) and, in the hopes of a miracle, baclofen. I had never taken a psychiatric drug before. When I collected the pills, I thought: two bottles of red wine a night, or this? How could any rational person – any rational person who doesn’t own stock in a pharmaceutical company – seriously believe that this was climbing the ladder of health?

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